I Got Into Columbia, But I Can’t Get Into Roblox

I graduated from Columbia, but I can’t get into Roblox, because I’ve failed the verification test too many times. In case you are not sure what that entails, it is simply clicking arrows to put a a goat or a buffalo cartoon image right-side-up. You have to do this eight times, and you have 7 seconds to do so for each image. I failed for the last hour. I can’t set my daughter up with an account. Question: Why is Roblox Fort Knox? Bigger Question: What is wrong with me (don’t answer that) that I can’t determine how to set a goat or buffalo upright? 

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I got this message about 20 times

Perhaps this is because I am not upright.

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I may be upside down, but look at my patent leather shoes!

In other words, I’m kinda struggling here– with the pandemic, the decision to send the kids back to school, and looking for a job. The job sitch is almost as grim as the fact that I can’t prove I’m not a robot on Roblox. Yesterday, I applied for three jobs. Two were promising. The other? It was an Amazon remote job, in which I’d be available to talk to people about their FMLA and Disability. I mean, does this really suit me? Probs not! My career pivot looks less like a pivot and more like a circle–or just a cliff dive.

No, honestly, I’m excited about some of the opportunities. But it’s hard to find something remote. And, if I do, when I search on Linked In, it will say there are 122 applicants ahead of me. I mean, I know I’m a solid pick, but 122? That’s kinda rotten chances. I‘d be better off just going to buy a scratch ticket and heading to the beach with an Italian sub.

Speaking of Italian subs, I am not going to eat those anymore, or at least for today, because I decided I’m going to get really skinny. Like, I want to be a coat hanger. I know a lot of people don’t think of that as an attractive image, but I think all clothes look good on hangers, and some of the ones in my closet are really pissed at me that they’ve been benched.

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My ideal body #goals

With that, I’m going to go for a long walk, since apparently I won’t be able to play Roblox!

 

 

 

 

We’re Almost Free: And What Have I Accomplished??

It’s only 8:30 a.m., and I’m exhausted. I’ve already taught first grade, cleaned up the 50 dishes and glasses in the sink, walked the dogs, and started to work at my full-time job remotely. My son is not yet awake, and I have third grade teaching to anticipate.

I am wearing an office shirt, i.e. a pressed, buttoned-down oxford. Do people even actually know what that is anymore? I stood in front of my closet wondering what to put on: should I go with the old Martha’s Vineyard sweatshirt I’ve been donning about thrice weekly, or should I make an effort today? I decided to make an effort. I even put on makeup and pearl earrings.

Oh, here is something I am excited about: I am spending less than I am earning, according to my “budgeting tool” on my Bank of America app that congratulated me! HOORAY! I couldn’t even believe it! (Well, maybe ’cause I have not gone food shopping in like three weeks and we are existing on pasta and soda water?). So, I paid off my credit card debt. I was pumped! However, a mere 12 hours later, this elation turned to consternation when my card was declined by 1-800 JUNK, who came to pick up the three rugs that the puppy destroyed with pee. I was confused. “Hm, how could that be?” I wondered.

And then I found out.

My newly-paid credit card was declined because of suspicious charges, which were not all that suspicious after all. My daughter decided it was time to go on a Robucks shopping spree in the game “Adopt Me!” She bought $300 worth of animated pets. Yes! I now am in debt for buying cartoon pets that don’t exist. As if the two LIVE pets I have are not enough. I am so glad I bought a baby dragon for $39.99, and I have a newborn griffon that I can feed and fly on virtually. So awesome. Who doesn’t want a griffon??

Speaking of 1-800-JUNK, I have thrown away most of my house. I am now a minimalist and living like Christopher McCandles in Into the Wild: super-austere. I think this might be like a manifestation of a control issue. I probs could pack up and move in one day and fill a small budget rental truck. And I’m not done yet!

Now that the quarantine is sort of lifting, I realize I didn’t get done what I planned to do:

  1. Read more books: I think I read about two.
  2. Catch up on my DVR’ed shows: Okay, so I finished the latest Bachelor Listen to My Heart, but I have about 20 Dateline’s to watch and 15 Dr. Phil’s.
  3. Lose 10 pounds: Yeah…not so much. But my sweats fit nicely. They’re loose!
  4. Learn to play the piano: I downloaded the teaching app, played for like two days, and I think my fingers are not long enough. The chords were kinda tricky.
  5. Finish writing my book: Okay, I am nearing completion. But then I need to edit it. You guys, you are gonna like it!

What I have done, however, has been great:

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Me running!
  1. Reconnected with old friends on FaceTime and Zoom (I spend most nights on the FT with a glass of wine and an old pal. It’s been a lifesaver).
  2. Started jogging 7 miles three days a week.
  3. Done some YouTube video blogs and gotten subscribers! (#viral!)
  4. Spent copious amounts of time playing with my kids, which actually has been so nice!
  5. Planted a garden (actually, that’s kind of a lie–my friend brought over some Black Eyed Susans and Daisies, and she planted them while I watched. But I am watering them).

So, maybe that’s why I’m exhausted. Look how much I’ve accomplished! What have you done? Please comment!