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“Was I Better Today Than Yesterday?”

“Was I better today than yesterday?” This is something to ask yourself. And, if you answer “no” today, then you will most likely answer “yes” tomorrow. Or, so this what I heard on an Oprah podcast on Fulfillment. I am not so sure that I can always answer “yes” the next day, though. The idea behind this notion is that we, as people, don’t repeat negative behaviors twice, and we work on making our situations better, not worse. We move forward, not back.

I don’t know about you, but I repeat my mistakes all the time. It’s like I’m sometimes this albino rat in a science experiment, who is missing a receptor firing and can’t learn well. I’m the broken rat in the Skinner Box experiment, who fails to learn that if you press the lever, you may get a food pellet.

Did I just liken myself to a rat? I did. Actually, I feel like that was in my subconscious, because someone once called me an “old rat.” I will leave that story for another day…. but, yes, it hurt my feelings.

I think, tomorrow, I’ll just do the same sh*t

Anyway, so, I am going to try to be better today than yesterday. I mean, it’s already 5:00 p.m., so I don’t have too many hours left before the day is over. I am going to grill some chicken on my new broiler, since my grill outside is still broken. Cooking a meal? That’s better than the ordering I did yesterday. Then, I’m going to try to get some writing done. Ha! That is so not happening. I’ll probably just have time to help my kids with their homework, play American Girl dolls, and zone out with some TV show. I mean, honestly? That’s kind of better than my day was yesterday, in the end. Oh, wait, but was I better…hm…that’s another question.

Tomorrow, I have HUGE plans to be better! I am going to work! Yay! Oh, but the morning will be better, because today I put my travel mug of coffee in my purse, and when I bent over to get the bags in the backseat, the coffee top flew off and spilled coffee all over my brand new car, my clothes, and the bags. I legit started to tear up in the parking lot, and a very nice, compassionate woman asked if she could make me another coffee. I told her, “no, thank you,” but she did bring me a new bag to put my stuff in, which was not covered with coffee. My faith in humanity is restored.

This was me in the parking lot, but covered in java

I’m going to work on being better today now. Tell me about your day!

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When Enough is Enough

When is enough actually enough? I was walking down Main Street yesterday and saw one of those personalized, wooden, oblong signs that hangs from nautical rope that read: Whatever You Accomplished Today Is Enough.

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It struck me, because I had just been thinking that I had not done nearly enough to consider myself productive, and the hours in the day had slipped away. Evening was encroaching, and I had not written one word for my book, and I had yet to buy any gifts for my son’s birthday, which is tomorrow. I also hadn’t gone for a run, and my refrigerator was bare. My health insurance issues weren’t resolved, and I forgot to buy a new sprinkler.

So what the hell had I been doing? 

Well, I got up with my kids, and I played a round of Barbies with one and Adopt Me on Roblox with another. I also walked the dogs, cleaned the house, and made lunch. That was all before 1:00 p.m.

So was that enough? I mean, I guess it was?

I also often wonder AM I ENOUGH?

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Well, there’s the argument that I am sometimes too much, but that’s a whole different topic. When I consider if I am enough, I am more asking myself the question if I could be more intelligent, prettier, in better shape, wealthier, more successful, more accomplished, etc. Blah, blah, the list goes on…

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It seems very counterproductive to wonder these things, and I think, yes, I am enough most of the time. But sometimes those doubts creep back in, and that’s when it’s good to have another one of those wooden, oblong signs around to read: You are Enough.

It’s funny how no matter how much you have, the human condition makes us want more. It’s oddly greedy and unkind. It’s important to be kind to yourself, as well as to others. One of the best pieces advice I got once was to stop beating myself up. And sometimes that means not getting a whole lot done. Give yourself a break. Whatever you accomplished today was Enough.