Memorial Day is upon us, and, so too, a surge in anxiety for many Cape Codders. Oh, wait, but we’ve already been anxious since February with COVID. So, just HOW anxious are we now? On a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being, like, in a straight jacket, where are you? I’d say I’m about a solid 5 today, which actually isn’t that bad, considering.
What does Memorial Day weekend mean here? Well, first off, there is a freaking long line at the Starbucks drive-through. Last week, I attempted to wait in it, the rear of my Subaru sticking out into the middle of the street, and then I thought I had better ways to spend the next 30 minutes. So I drove to a Dunkin Donuts. But guess what happened there? There was an even longer line! So, I drove to another one. And a long line there too! You following? Bottom line: I can’t get a cup o’ joe even if I try in the summer.
The beaches are opening up, and apparently only at half-capacity. Guess what else is at half-capacity? My tolerance! So I’m bringing a broom with me to the beach, and if you come close, ya’ done–swept away, literally.
Memorial Day also marks the beginning of SUMMER! But, wait, my kids have been on summer break (aside from my “homeschooling”) for months now…so, nothing new there. Given social distancing, I figured we might not be able to go to the pool, so I looked into buying an above ground pool, thinking it’d be more affordable than installing an in ground (even if a bit trashy looking). But, it’s still almost $20K! Yeah, kids? Put one foot in this pot of water, one in the other. That’s your pool. Stay cool.
When I was little, I almost drowned choking on a pretzel rod. I was in over my head, and it went down my air pipe, and I remember looking out at my family as I sunk. (Wait, that’s a whole different story, but I wanted to share because it seemed opportune. Also, don’t eat pretzel rods in the water. Just saying.)
Memorial Day also means I can wear white. That’s good, because I have not yet worn my white sweatpants, just the black and grey ones. This will be fancy.
I also won’t have to wear socks anymore, now that it’s flip flop season, so I can just toss this bag of unmatched socks that’s been waiting for me!